"This is Chuck. Leave a message and I might listen to it."

BEEP!

Chuck was pretty much useless right after he woke up so he left for class not even noticing the note that had been left on his door. When he came back from class, however, he was more awake and alert and gave himself props for keeping up his Japanese because he had no trouble reading it.

After a few moments Chuck shrugged and decided to leave it. It's not like it was saying anything that wasn't completely obvious to every single person in town.

The note did inspire him to spend some time on passiveaggressivenotes.com though.

[Door's closed, post is open and there will be SP in the afternoon because I have to pick up my dad from the airport. I know, eff my life, right?]

Last night, in Chuck's opinion, had been fantastic. The trip had definitely been totally worth it, but he was looking forward to getting out of Connecticut. This state was totally boring. Chuck was heading towards his limo when he suddenly found himself surrounded by the Skull and Bones society.

Those guys really needed to start wearing a bell or something. They were sneaky.

( This is the part where Chuck makes Yale douchebags his bitch )

( And this is the part where Chuck and Nate break up )

[And I'm done! NFI, NFB, OOC is OK. For the last time, dialogue taken from Gossip Girl 2x06 "New Haven Can Wait". Chuck'll be spending the rest of break in Fandom, probably moping in his room, aw]

With Nate safely tucked away in a bar off campus, Chuck felt free to carry out his plans without any interference. He had the feeling that Nate wouldn't approve of what Chuck had in mind, but Chuck felt it was for his own good and he hoped Nate would understand that. Really, people needed to learn that all of Chuck's plans were good ones. Even if said plans looked like he was wandering around blindly on the Yale campus with several Skull and Bones members. There was a purpose to this, really.

Almost as if on cue, Dan Humphrey turned a corner and started walking towards where Chuck and the Skull and Bones were waiting. Poor Dan. He looked so happy and carefree right now.

( This is the part where Chuck gets Dan stripped down and screws him over. Not dirty, sadly )

[Mwahahahaha! Continued from here. NFI, NFB, OOC is OK. Events taken from, you guessed it, Gossip Girl 2x06 "New Haven Can Wait"]

Chuck had indeed come prepared to show the Skull and Bones a good time, so it didn't take long for him to arrange entertainment for the Yale boys. It had been expensive but so, so worth it.

"You gentleman wanted a Chuck Bass party. Well your party has arrived." Chuck moved to the side as three very tall, very slim and very much masked women entered the room. They immediately flocked to Chuck's side and he smiled at the men in the room. "Straight from--I can't tell you where they're from, actually--but they're the best money can buy. Before you ask, they don't speak English. And they don't care."

( This is the part where the Skull and Bones make Chuck complete a test )

( This is the part where Chuck calls Nate )

[Continued from here Only one more for tonight, I promise. NFI, NFB, OOC is OK. Once again, dialogue taken from Gossip Girl 2x06 "New Haven Can Wait"]

Yale was...Yale. Like every other college, only filled with even more pretentious people. Other students Chuck's age were exploring the campus, talking to professors, sucking up to the Dean. But Chuck wasn't there for all that. He had one purpose and one purpose only. And it so happened that said purpose actually worked better if he just stayed where he was. Nate, however, wasn't exactly being a bundle of cheer.

"Get excited Archibald. We're at Yale," Chuck said. "This place is filled with horny Women's Studies majors who are eager to get out all their anger towards men in their bunkbeds."

( This is the part where Chuck gets his hair mussed up while getting kidnapped. Rude. )

( This is the part where Yale boys fangirl Chuck )

[NFI, NFB, OOC is OK. Dialogue taken from Gossip Girl 2x06 "New Haven Can Wait"]

Spotted: N, C and Lonely Boy together in Soho, hitting up Antarctica for some pool. My sources tell me C has been glaring daggers at Lonely Boy all night. Silly Humphrey, don't you know that Chuck Bass doesn't share his toys? Better watch your back or else you might find a pool cue sticking out of it. XOXO Gossip Girl

After the initial surprise of seeing Dan and actually recognizing him, Chuck came to two conclusions rather quickly:

1. This was not the same Dan Humphrey that punched him a year ago.
2. He still fucking hated this guy.

Dan talked too much, his jokes sucked, he brought up his scholarship to St. Jude's every five seconds, and he wore flannel without having the decency to be a Winchester. Not to mention the fact Dan was from Brooklyn and treated Chuck and Nate like they were idiots just because they came from a life of privilege. In short, Dan Humphrey was everything Chuck Bass was not and Chuck hated it.

( This is the part where Chuck wants to cut a flannel wearing bitch )

[NFI, NFB, OOC is OK]

Chuck had gotten to NYC early Sunday evening, just in time to have a truly painful dinner with his father and Lily. Luckily Chuck had come prepared with an excuse to leave as soon as he could and wasn't questioned by anybody as he made his way downstairs. The great thing about living in a hotel was that there were plenty of bars to hide in and you didn't even have to go outside to find them. Chuck settled down in the biggest one and was halfway through his first scotch before dialing Nate's number.

( This is the part where Chuck gets ditched by Nate for a Brooklyn hobag )

[NFB, NFI but OOC is OK]

Chuck had gotten a call from Nate after his class ended which wasn't entirely new and different, since he kept in contact with Nate all the time. But the fact that the conversation had past the ten minute mark long ago was a big thing. Ever since Chuck had been sent to Fandom his relationship with Nate had been drifting further and further apart. Chuck hated it. He had always liked the whole best friend thing and missed not having it here. Seemed like everyone he was friends with in Fandom had other people they'd rather talk to.

Talking to Nate like this was nice and familiar, even if the main topic of conversation was how Nate's dad had stopped running from the law and turned himself in to the authorities. This was actually pretty common for the Upper East Side. With great power came coke addiction and embezzlement.

"So you managed to convince the Captain to turn himself in," Chuck said. "Good for you, man."

"It was either that or let him take us hostage for Vanderbilt ransom money," Nate said. Yes. These were actual problems these people had.

Chuck smirked. "I don't know. Being held hostage in the Caribbean doesn't sound too awful. I'm sure the Captain would untie you long enough to sleep with hot natives."

( Yeah, my canon has a character called the Captain. Shut up. )

[Setting myself up for a canon catchup, woo! Door's closed but the post is open, if you'd like]

So tonight was the night Chuck and Dean were deflowering an angel. Not like that. Using whores. It took some research, but Chuck had managed to find a brothel not far from the island. It wasn't exactly the classiest place in the world but it would suit their purpose. It's not like Castiel would know the difference between a good brothel and a bad one.

And it's not like anybody mentioned to him that they were going to a whorehouse in the first place.

[For Dean and the angel]

This wasn't the first time Chuck has followed a strange man dressed in women's clothing to a hotel room and, if we're going to be honest, it probably wouldn't be the last. This was his first time doing it in Fandom, however, and he wondered if the squirrels hid in the hotel rooms. It was a bit late to back out now, considering he was laid back on Lafayette's bed and the man was digging around his bags to show Chuck what he had. It's not like his father knew about the radio broadcasts anyway.

"So what is it that you have on you?" he asked. "Weed? Coke? LSD?"

Because he was for buying all of that. It had been a rough day, okay?

( Cut for a table, drug use, bad words and blood drinking. Yes. Blood drinking )

[Preplayed with...myself. NFI, NFB, OOC OK. Some dialogue taken from True Blood 1x05 "Sparks Fly Out"]

This time last year, Chuck had taken his father to Alexandria to convince him to put up money for Victrola, only to have his idea shot down. Now Chuck owned both Victrola and Caritas and both places were doing very well in their own right. His father thought he'd get bored with the whole bar idea and it turned out Chuck was more interested than ever. Determined to start off the weekend right, Chuck wasted no time in collecting his father and showing him Caritas. Really, both of his places were doing extremely well and there was no denying that.

Chuck thought, maybe, if he showed his father the good things he has done since the last time he's been here then he'd forget anything he's heard. Bart Bass had an annoying way of keeping tabs on people and Chuck wished he remembered that before, you know, all the drugging and fights.

Still, Chuck was optimistic when he and his father settled down in the lounge after Chuck gave him the grand tour and showed him the books for both places. "So, what do you think?"

[For myself! Getting the bitchery out early, I know]

Anybody else and Chuck probably wouldn't be calling this late without a good reason but he knew better than to think that Dean would actually be asleep right now. Besides, he figured that this would be worth it.

And if he was interrupting something, well, it's not like he's had issue pissing Dean off before.

[For the guy he's calling please]

It was feeling like a "lay in bed until someone drags me out of it" kind of day to Chuck and he'll be damned if he was going to mess with that. Besides, there was a lot of things you can do from his bed.

One, you could smoke. Which is what he was doing. Don't worry, the window was open. He wasn't intending to start any fire alarms. Well. Not today, anyway.

Two, you could kill zombies, so long as it was in a video game. He was doing that too. He really couldn't wait for Left 4 Dead 2 to come out. There were gonna be zombie!clowns. That's awesome!

All in all a good way to spend a day.

[Door and post are open omg]

So who knew sitting up on bed on a Saturday morning triggered a confetti explosion? Chuck most certainly did not know. If he had, he wouldn't have sat up in bed. It seemed like only yesterday he got glitter out of his hair, now he had to deal with this.

The day was not going to get any better as evidenced by the fact that, when he opened up his closet, he got flooded with bouquets of flowers.

"Okay, I am not cleaning this up."

Did bitch duties extend to cleaning his room?

[Door and post are open]

Tracy said she was ready for infoposts on Twitter which really meant "post them all today, I love grabbing those links!" So I'll oblige. I like making Tracy happy.

I don't even have new kids. WHATEVS. YOU WILL READ THIS STUFF AGAIN AND ENJOY IT.

( Marion Ravenwood )

( Marshall Eriksen )

( Meg Manning )

( Dick Casablancas )

( Lois Lane )

( Chuck Bass )

( Tim Riggins )

( Leonard McCoy )

( And meee )

Chuck was beginning to get used to this. So no freak outs for him. Actually, he almost kind of liked it. So long as he was confident that it was only temporary, of course.

Despite threats to the contrary, Chuck had not thrown out all the clothes he had bought from the last time he was a girl. Some of those things were classic styles that never went out of fashion. For instance, the dress and heels he was currently modeling in front of the mirror. He had always thought Herve Leger was a little too Serena for him but, damn, he totally had the body for it.

Sweet Jesus, he was a fantastic looking woman. And he dressed better than most of the Forever 21-loving hussies around here.

[Door and post are open omg]

Four showers and Chuck still had pink glitter in his hair. He could only hope the majority of it would be out before he went to church later in the week. Yes, he was still trying to make a habit of going. His father would have a heart attack if he found out.

Fresh from the fourth shower, he was now drying his hair with a towel, pulling it away every few minutes to see how much glitter was coming off on it. Not a whole lot, it seemed. Next time he'd think before starting a glitter fight.

[For one, mostly, but the post is open. SP later because I'll be going out]

Chuck was most definitely hiding out in his room from, well, just about everybody. Well, everyone except Sam because he already explained the situation to him and, honestly, was surprised he took it so calmly. Truly, he had picked his bitch well.

Still, Chuck felt bad about what he did and he was going to have to set Raven straight soon. Which was something he was not looking forward to but it was better than her going around thinking she was (ugh) in love with him. So he was laying on his bed, feeling bad.

He was feeling bad and shouting answers at Cash Cab contestants. It was called multitasking, people. It's not his fault you can't emo and watch TV at the same time.

[Door's closed, post is open and I'll warn you he might be mean]

Chuck had been extremely relieved to report the good news on radio and was hoping that, with that, the town would resume some sort of normalcy. He hated those pesky life-threatening situations. He still didn't know how to deal with them. Now it was Monday and the coast was clear which meant Chuck was getting ready for class, standing in front of his closet and trying to decide whether to go bowtie today or just plain tie-tie.

He took even more time picking out what to wear on Mondays. He had Barney to compete with, after all.

[Door and post are open omg]